For a while, I am able to zone out and forget about the horrors being broadcasted on my television. That is, until a blaring trumpet comes from the speaker and snaps me out of it. A low groan escapes from my throat as I wonder, what now? The Head Gamemaker announces that there will be yet another trick up their sleeves to liven things up. Again? They did a plenty good job of livening things up yesterday! What are they going to set on those poor tributes now? The answer to my question comes much quicker than yesterday, as a stampede of creatures comes towards the camera.
The camera zooms in, which allows me to see this threat a bit more clearly. Frogs. Wait a second? FROGS? That’s the big threat?!?! I study the animal to see if there is anything different about these frogs. Nope. They still have the same texture that makes me feel like I have slime in my hands every time I see it. There are still the solid eyes that are black as night and the matching spots that run from its head to its back. They’re still the same size, probably no taller than a paper clip, and there is certainly nothing threatening about them. The only thing different about these frogs is the colors. Some looking like bright red tomatoes, some like the green palms surrounding the arena, and just about every color in between. My mom looks at me with a raised eyebrow and questioning eyes and I can tell that we are both wondering the same thing. What’s so special about these frogs?
Our question is answered when another Gamemaker announces that these are poison dart frogs and they are one of the most toxic creatures in the world. My eyes grow wide, I cannot blink, and as hard as I try, my head will not allow me to look away. My heart begins to beat faster and faster as tributes keep falling to the ground, having been affected by the poison in these frogs. I gasp as I realize one of the fallen tributes was Juliet Spark, the last tribute from District Five. Just like that, this district’s last chance is gone. I suddenly realize that my mother and I have a wrench-like hold on each other’s hands. This allows me to calm down as I remember that I am not alone in this. I look at my mother through tear-blurred vision and ask her, “How are we going to tell Jimmy?” Jimmy is my younger brother, and Juliet’s best friend. They could always be found together, playing and climbing up things. Jimmy had been heartbroken when Juliet was called from the reaping ball, but we wera all able to assure him that she could make it through the games. Now, we have to tell him that his best friend in the whole world was gone, forever. My mothers warm, reassuring smile makes me feel better and I know that we can find a way to tell him, together. I’m sorry Jimmy, I think to myself, and I’m really sorry Juliet.
I thought it was a very well written piece all together. the last sentence was really confusing. I dint quite get what you were doing. Also it is still to wordy. I think it is too long it is supposed to be right to the point basically but there is too much going on. Overall good job but it is still a little to long.
I really enjoyed how you added the twist of Juliet Spark being your little brother’s best friend and how you have to tell him that she is dead. These sentences I also like because they gave a great description of the frogs and had great vivid figurative language: “They’re still the same size, probably no taller than a paper clip, and there is certainly nothing threatening about them. The only thing different about these frogs is the colors. Some looking like bright red tomatoes, some like the green palms surrounding the arena, and just about every color in between.” However, your post is wayyyyy too long and I already told you that last time, so you need to try and shorten it up for next time.
I think you did a great job with this post. I would have liked more details concerning where the frogs were attacking the tributes, but that’s really the only thing. I liked your opening sentence; I think it grasped the readers attention. Your closing sentence was also a good ending to the post.