After the reaping, I am escorted into the Justice Building by two big, sinewy guards. As I wait for the goodbyes to begin I can’t keep myself from pacing around the room nervously. Looking around is all I can do to keep my mind off of where I am going to be in a couple of days. I notice how much nicer the Justice Building is than the homes of District five; velvet couches, polished wooden floors that you could see your reflection in, and beautiful, red, satin, drapes. I rub them through my fingers and they remind me of my mother’s fancy dress that she would always wear to any special occasion. Thinking about her causes my eyes to water but I quickly snap out of it when I hear the loud, slow, creak of a door behind me.
My entire family runs in with tear-filled eyes and worried expressions. Each of them hugs me as hard as they can. I try to keep a smile on my face and make it look like I’m fine even though all I can think is God please don’t let them feel my shaking. We move to the couch and I can feel my little sister Allison drop onto the couch, causing it to shake vigorously. She then reaches into her pocket and pulls out some kind of necklace. “I went home really quick to get this. Promise me you will wear it while you’re in the arena,” she says quickly as she shoves it into my hand, “to remember us by”. I stare down at the small necklace and it takes a while for me to recognize it. Then, as if a switch in my brain turned on, I suddenly remembered when Allison had found all the materials necessary to make a necklace and the entire family, even Patrick, worked on it together.
The end product was a beautiful necklace. In the center of the pendant was a smooth, pink, glittery stone that our grandmother had given us. We had then stuck the stone on a gold colored scrap metal in the shape of a heart that Allison had gotten from a school art project to make the full pendant. Finally, we took a piece of string and attached it to the top of the heart to make a necklace. It was a fun, quick, family project that had really meant a lot to me at the time. After we had completed it, Mom, Allison, and I had all taken turns wearing the necklace for years until one day, no one could find it. I had missed wearing it at first, but eventually we had all forgotten about it. Allison must have been hiding it this entire time.
As I turn to Allison, I smile, for real this time, and tell her happily, “I would love to use this as my tribute token.” Something about that necklace just makes me feel like I have, and always will have, my family with me. This would be the thing to make me remember that my family was at home, safe, supporting me with everything they had. Just knowing this took a weight off my shoulders that I didn’t even know I had until now. I know that even if I die in that arena, at least I will die with my family right there by me.
To start off, I loved how you used on of our vocabulary words in the first sentence. Your essay was very touching and sad at times. I really did feel the sad vibe that was going through that room at the time. But I also felt all of the support that the family was giving you. Overall it was a very good essay. You improved from the last one which was also very well written. The only thing I would do is describe more about how you felt about receiving the token. But other than that I thought you did a great job!To start off, I loved how you used on of our vocabulary words in the first sentence. Your essay was very touching and sad at times. I really did feel the sad vibe that was going through that room at the time. But I also felt all of the support that the family was giving you. Overall it was a very good essay. You improved from the last one which was also very well written. The only thing I would do is describe more about how you felt about receiving the token. But other than that I thought you did a great job!
I like the vocab in the first paragraph that was clever. Also I like the story of how you guys made the necklace lost it and that made it more special for you. I like how you described the Justice Building. The only thing that I would change would maybe you could add a simile or metaphor here and there.
VOCAB WORDS! Great job on the setting, really letting the reader see what the character saw. Word choices were also good, and set the mood for the story. It would be touching but in the end the reader has no connections with these “family members”. It surely makes the reader feel the sadness though. Great ending and story overall.
I liked the use of vocab words in the first paragraph. I thought that this was very well written but could be even better if you add a simile or metaphor somewhere in the post.